yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This house was built for laser tag.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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