they need to just BURY HIM!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
smell my finger.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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