You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
