He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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