Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
