Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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