Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
