i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
