used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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