Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
