it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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