Just cropdusted the office
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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