I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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