i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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