i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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