Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
