wat bout pragnant strippers??
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
