It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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