Farmville is her only friend.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
