the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize