just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm both gender and math confused
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
