I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
