Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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