how can u be prego again
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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