i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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