So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
