I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
