Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
