the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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