I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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