Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
