i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
