alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
