Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need to sanitize my soul.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
