why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
