Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
