It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
