Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
