"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's rum buckets o'clock
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize