Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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