Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
