I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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