His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
MIDGETS
????
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
