He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
and you said cock pushups were impossible
im holly from the hills drunk
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
