kristin has been a bad kristin
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize