and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize