We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
