Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
