It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Pants are for mortals
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
