Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
