I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
