My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize