I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
