On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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