i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
