you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
