Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Sext me about skeletons
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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