Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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