he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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