After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
